Icp - Mad Professor LYRICS

*Giggling* (Oh, shit! He's here!)
*Clears throat* (Hi.)
[Ah, how you doin', uh, this is the right place for the uh furniture? Uh?]
(Yeah, sure is. Come on in.)
[Pretty nice place here you go. Them cobwebs are a nice touch.
Uh, so that's the couch eh?]
(Yeah we got some um, take a look at that upholstery right there.)
[That's pretty fuckin' nice, ace.]
(That's uh.. BAROO!)
[Woah, you alright there?]
(Excuse me, real upholstery.)
[I ain't seen nothin' like that since uh shit, back in..]
*Hear something hit the guy over the head*
(MOTHERFUCKER! You want my COUCH? You motherFUCKER?
I need your motherfuckin' BRAIN!
You can't have my COUCH! What
the FUCK you thinking? Now come here you big fat MOTHERFUCKER,
Get on the TABLE!) *Nervous giggling*

I was never popular, this I'll admit.
Fuck SCHOOL. School never liked me. Cool!
All the kids would always beat me 'til I'm half dead,
And make fun of the size of my forehead.
But that shit never bothered me.
Mama and mother, they owned a lot of property.
They had a science lab in the basement and that's where my free time--
Well, my time was spent.

I made a mouse with a chicken head.
It clucked three times, cluck, Cluck, CLUCK!
Then it was dead.
I made a lot of things though,
Like a frog with a turkey neck. (*Turkey noises*)
It was the shit! (Yeah!)

But I'm still lonely,
I need a homie.
So I collected limbs and made me a zombie.
I could have made a girly friend but fuck that,
I got my girly right here (Sick noise)
(Yeah!)

(Under the direction of)
You can call me mad professor.
(Strange as it may seem)
I will make a friend for me.
(Under the direction of