Seasonal Holiday - fat santa LYRICS

Would you like to hear a christmas tale?
yes storyteller!
You know at christmas time there is always one of the old folks who will embarass you?
Yes!
Who will it be this year?
Auntie Margaret showing her knickers again!
No, shall I tell you?
Yes please!

Who's eaten all the pies?
Daddy!
Drunk all the beer?
Uncle Bob!
Who else could it be at this holiday time of year?

Fat Santa

Tell us a proper story!
Oh alright then

Way up above the rooftops high
In a darkly brilliant starlit sky
Take a brolly, I'll tell you why
The yuletide vomit is about to fly

Fat Santa
Every christmas eve
Fat Santa
Gives it an all out heave
Fat Santa
Worse than he was last year
Fat Santa
Blame it on dodgy gear

All the children point and cry what's that so far away
Could be the sleigh with a cop car on it's tail?
Oh no it's

Fat Santa
Coming from the bottle-o
Fat Santa
Listen to the sirens blow
Fat Santa
Oh he's getting very near
Fat Santa
Lashing at the cute reindeer

At every single house it seems he had just one little snort
That's what he told the policeman the moment he was caught

Breath test
Now he walks the line
Keep your fingers crossed now
Oh I think he's doing fine
Oh no!
There goes old saint Nick
Face down in the snow

And it's really quite sad for the reindeer because

Dancer and Prancer and Blitzen too
Were pulling quite hard on this night
Their numbers were down
'Coz Rudolph stayed home
To fix his nose after the fight with

Fat Santa